Oh Spring. Welcome back. I’ve missed you and you’re warmth, blue skies and sunshine. The new blossoms and growth on winter trees. The days staying lighter later and daylight savings commencing. Yes I have been waiting all winter for you to make an appearance.
Spring is my second most favourite season. I love (almost) everything about it. This Spring is also marking another change in my little world, a mindset change and one that in all honesty has taken too long to “click”.
I am working towards becoming more like the person I was last Autumn and Winter. I was happier in how I felt within and I was (more) comfortable with how I looked on the outside.
With winter there were some big changes, conflict, and a flurry of emotions and my demons resurfaced. To “protect” myself, I ate (a lot and not good stuff), stopped exercising and stopped really caring about myself.
Enter stage left, self sabotage, bullying, denial, self preservation and friends. When these guys decide they want to take over, I really struggle to assert the ‘formally’ weaker part of me and I fall onto old patterns and the continuous roundabout of self doubt becomes too strong.
With a fair bit of TLC, along with counselling, some healing and being kind to myself, I am getting stronger and am making a commitment to myself to love the me I am right now.
I’m accepting the fall down I experienced and I am no longer making it wrong. It is what it is. It is a moment in time where I was in a different and negative headspace and we all have moments like those in life, sometimes short bursts of time, others longer.
Life is a journey and one I’m waking up to enjoy, I’m learning to be present. I’m learning to love myself and accept and be okay with me.
Spring is a time of new beginnings for me. I’m Spring Cleaning my mind, and my body and the only way from here is forward. Sure there may be a hurdle or two, but I always wanted to try athletics so it seems there really is no time like the present.
my perfectly imperfect crazy life 